


Don't Quit Your Day Job

by JXValentine



Series: Tumblr Flash Fics [2]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, F/M, Pickup Lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-07 20:05:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/752510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JXValentine/pseuds/JXValentine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is probably why Bill has never had much success when it comes to attracting women.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Quit Your Day Job

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fic in response to an ask sent by Tumblr user sassy-spinda. The ask in question: "fANFIC WHERE BILL JSUT SAYS A BUNCH OF NERDY PICK-UP LINES TO THE READER PLEASE MIGHTY JAX MAKE THIS HAPPEN"

When the developers gathered together at a designated house for their yearly meetings, most days would be spent devoted completely to developing new ideas for the storage system. Most days, that is, except Saturdays. In particular, Saturday afternoons with the developers were always rather slow. Brigette and Celio would be off to buy supplies for them, Amanita would be playing video games in her room, Bebe – if she had nothing better to do (which was often) – would be sitting in a corner of the common room blogging, and Lanette would always sit wherever she could find space with her own laptop resting in her lap and her favorite coding programs on the screen. And as for Bill? Bill was a bit of a wild card. Sometimes he liked to follow Brigette and Celio into town. Other times, he would work on programs with Lanette, and other times, he would watch Bebe or Amanita. It really depended on how far along the developers’ current project was and how bored he happened to be on any given Saturday.

That was their configuration on one particular day in Hearthome City: Bebe sitting on a beanbag chair in the corner writing a blog entry, Lanette at her desk writing code, Amanita in a guest room, and the others gone. Or, at least, Lanette assumed the others were gone. That was why she let herself slip into programming mode, that state of mind where nothing else mattered in the world except the screen in front of her and the lines of code she had in her mind.

So she didn’t notice when the door swung open and only Bill walked in. Bebe was the only one to look up, pausing mid-sentence as her colleague walked confidently up to the table. She set aside her computer when he stopped and looked down at their partner, still typing away at her code without any concern about the world around her.

Until he cleared his throat.

As soon as he did, Lanette gasped and swiveled in her seat, gazing up at Bill with wide, startled eyes. He stood stiffly, nervously, with his arms tense at his sides and his head back slightly. It was strange to Lanette; Bill wasn’t normally one who was ever really  _nervous_  about something he had to say. But evidently, at that moment, he was. He even took a deep, steadying breath before saying a word.

“If I could rearrange the periodic table, I would put uranium and iodine next to each other so U and I could be together.”

Lanette stared blankly at him in perfect silence.

“You must be a clefairy because getting close to you activates your Cute Charm.”

“….”

“Beautiful, are you a Water-type? Because you are a star-to-mie.”

“….”

“Love, how would you like to experiment with frictional forces tonight?”

“….”

“According to Newton, every object with mass exerts a gravitational force, but I can’t tell if I’m feeling yours or if you’re just that attractive.”

“….”

“Are you carbon? Because I’d like to form a solid covalent bond with you.”

“….”

“Baby, why don’t we go back to my place so our relationship can gain experience and evolve?”

At that last one, Lanette and Bebe stared at Bill for a long while.

And then, they both burst out laughing. Simultaneously.

“Oh. Oh my gods. Can I blog about that? Is it rude to tweet that?” Bebe gasped.

“Do… do you have any others?!” Lanette cried.

And that was the last time Bill would ask the internet for advice on how to ask someone out.


End file.
